Don't be a Dick - Dining out with kids

When you have kids your life isn't completely over. The places that don't have high chairs or a kids menu do so on purpose but it doesn't mean you can't bring kids there. As long as its a food primary you can bring your kids anywhere. But there are rules. 

1. Get there early. As in like 5 o'clock or earlier. You can dine almost anywhere if you get there before the rush. It's not busy because all the normal people with lives eat at a reasonable time. You get in on the first set of dinner covers and your food comes out relatively fast. Also there won't be a crowd that is loud and overstimulating. 
Bonus - Double Down on Dinners! A 5 o'clock dinner gives you enough stomach emptying time to have a second dinner at 9 o'clock. Boom!

2. Don't go out past your child's bedtime. Basically the same thing as rule #1. Your kid is still in a good mood. If I am out for a nice dinner and am paying a baby-sitter to stay at home with my child, I do not want to see a kid having a meltdown because it is overtired. If a kid is having a tantrum at the table next to me because his or her parents made a poor judgement call I want to punch those parents in the throat. Don't ruin everyone else's night.

3. Order efficiently. 
A. Don't fuckin dog it. Your kid isn't gonna last through a five course meal. 
B. Be considerate of your server's time. If you're going to be one of those parents that gives their kid options, don't let them sit there going, "Apple juice!... No. Orange Juice!... No... Apple Juice!... No!.. Chocolate Milk!!!". Have the order ready when they come to the table. 

4. Don't be a dick about ordering off the menu. Yes, your kid might not be able to eat Szechuan Chicken but don't ask for plain pasta at a sushi place. 

5. If your kid is crying leave. Don't be a dick. Even if you follow all the rules sometimes your kid just has a bad day or something totally unexpected sets them off. Be considerate and take them out of the restaurant for some fresh air till they calm down. 

6. Be aware of your space. Don't bring a stroller into a 10-seat taco joint. The world doesn't revolve around you and your kid and your giant stroller. Also if you make a mess clean it up, the server shouldn't have to wipe squeezy pack gunk off the floor after you leave. 

Really it's just about being considerate and using common sense. 

Photos of food from 5:00 dinners! 

Pizza at bufala

The Phnom Penh