Okay, so I have decided to try my best to live within my means and not go out to eat in November, which doesn't exactly coincide with my quest to eat at all of the restaurants on Davie and Denman. And I don't have any romantic dinner dates on the horizon, so I'm pretty much screwed. After some thought I decided to share my infinite wisdom about hospital food. Every hospital is a little different, but the general delivery of food is the same. They make a meal tray at one location, send it to another location, put it in a re-heating cart and radiate the crap out of it, and then pass it out. So if you've ever been to a hospital you know, the food is soggy and over-cooked at best. The only people who ever say that the food is good are men who have been eating spaghetti out of a can since their wives passed away. On my ward especially, people are put on special diets. Aka: low-sodium, low-fat, low-sugar, low-calorie, etc. Basically bland and blander, but of course with their health in mind. Also with specific portion controls, people get blown away by how small accurate serving sizes actually are.
Just a couple tips:
1. Say that you can't eat fish, that you don't like it, that you'll go anaphylactic, whatever is necessary to avoid the rubber chuncks that they drown in sauce.
2. Ask for cold cereal. If you ask for hot cereal they will send you goop. Literal gelatinous goop that could either be either oatmeal or cream of wheat or indecipherable. Unless of course you like goop.
3. The mashed potatoes are probably their best accomplishment, doused in a generous helping of low-sodium gravy.
4. Eat your meal as soon as possible, there's nothing worse than room-temperature milk!
5. If you're desperate and can't even attempt to eat what they've sent you, ask for a sandwich from the kitchen on the ward. How badly could they screw up a sandwich? Just specify no fish because the salmon sandwich is beyond revolting and I've only ever smelt it.
6. And if you're REALLY desperate, get someone to sneak you in some home-cooked food, or fast food if you really need a fix.
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